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Numb

Life’s been taking me thru extreme shifts..sharp turns..and there’ve been absolutely no warnings..no answers..no indications..whatsoever..

Its 30th today..Baba would have turned 66 tomorrow..if he was here..we’d have got a cake..cards..one from us and one from Amma..I’d have written on the card..”Happy Birthday Baba..We love you!”..and all three of us would sign below that..peetu,junda and mumma..

but..it wont happen this year..infact..it wont happen ever again..Its been 23 days..Baba left us..on that ill fated morning of 7th july..when Amma woke us up with a scream and a panicky bang on our door,,when we rushed out..gave Baba water..tried CPR..picked him up and rushed him to the hospital..and all thru the way..I knew..I somewhere knew..he was gone..my Baba..was gone forever.

And since then..my lifes taking sharp turns..I’m feeling indifferent..disconnected..somewhere..NUMB..

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and the story begins..

“Yayyyyy…” the sounds roared along with the sound of high fives..she jumped and hugged Tanya..laughing out loud..”these men are just so useless..” she shouted..giving the opposite team a wink..they were on the beach..playing beach volly..it was the month of december..breezy winds..vibrant waves of the sea and of course..the undying spirit and feel of Goa..put everyone on a high..she was on a vacation with her four friends..two guys and two girls..all of them studied with her in their masters..and though it was 5 years since then, they were still in touch and were set out to have fun. All of them were single and were no wonder ready to mingle, except for her..she was different..she disliked the usual dating processes and flingovers,.and most importantly, wasn’t lonely like most of her single girl friends..she would often wonder why was it so necessary to always have a boyfriend for some girls but none the less, was the agony aunt for most of her love-struck friends who would come to her with all the issues of their love lives and she would happily sort them out. She was 28, single and happy. Loved her family, her parents and two sisters to the core and was a devoted friend. Loved playing the guitar and singing and most of all, she wasn’t afraid of being single all her life. The thought of ..what if I never get hooked??? that haunted her single friends never touched her mind and here she was, jumping and hopping on the beaches of Goa, loving the sand kiss her bare feet and living every moment of her life as it came. Her guy friends, Sanath and Kailash, were both great guys. She loved talking to both of them and loved the platonic relationship that they shared. It was always important to have great deal of respect in any relationship, she felt. And she respected both of them, they both were from small towns of India, were not great looking and would often fumble while talking in English, but they were great souls and respected her, with her singlehood. The girls Tanya and Anuradha, were opposites and she would often find herself balancing both of their extreme temperaments, Tanya was a rebel, a rocker and a compulsive faller in love..whereas Anu, was more of a serious, meticulous, happy yet careful person who loved correcting others..and she..Anaisha..which meant Special.. thoroughly enjoyed their little bickering and little fights.

They arrived in Goa this morning, unpacked and got off to the beach, stayed in south goa opted for a home stay with a konkani family that was sweet as sugar. Anaisha loved home stays, it made her enjoy the vacations even better, she felt. No doubt most of the work had was left for themselves, but all of them loved the house, it was a small bunglow right across the beach with coconut and palm trees all around, a small fireplace in the drawing room and all the rooms decorated with flowers and old fashioned wooden beds which gave it a true home like look.

They jumped off on the beach, all of them dressed in their best beach wear. Shorts, Tee shirts and yes, wearing their hearts on the sleeve too! Anaisha took off her denim shorts, the one she loved herself the most in and the white Tshirt  that read..”Love is playing every game as if it’s your last.”…it fit her slender body perfectly and put her at ease..she had dense, black hair that were cut in layers,with a fringe that fell across her face when she tied them. She never thought of coloring her hair, loved them natural, like every part of her body, she was one of those rare women with no insecurities about her body. She ate normally,and never worried about gaining weight, loved her body like she would love her baby’s. She fling her hair open, something she would rarely do,and looked into her handbag for the anklets, she loved them on shorts and had got a pair of silver anklets, just to wear whenever she would be in Goa. Her slender fair legs stood out as she went out in the sand, looking at Tanya and kailash already in the boxing ring..she somehow calmed them down..made teams of Girls v/s Guys and jumped off the first ball..setting in right on Sanath’s head..they kept losing, though the girls had no practice of Volly, they seemed to do fairly well..Anu was busy explaining the mistakes they were doing while Tanya and Anaisha, celebrated their victory..after the 3rd consecutive win, when they roared and gave each other hugs..Anaisha suddenly turned around, like someone called out her name,and saw this group..of 4 guys and 2 girls..just standing some distance away and looking. But she particularly looked at him..he was about 5”8..wheatish..wearing a white shirt and a pair of capris..was wearing shades but she could see his eyes through them..and his eyes..looked so familiar..like she knew him..had met him somewhere…she realized she was staring at him..who was staring at her too..and took her eyes off..and turned towards Tanya, who was obviously awestruck by the presense of the men there..one of the guys from the group approached kailash..and they smiled and started a conversation, since the game had paused and also because Tanya was more than eager to meet the guys and fall in love with at least one of them, she pulled Anaisha and started walking towards them..Anaisha called Anu and slowly walked towards them, still dusting the sand off her body and hair..it was breezy..and her t shirt stuck to her body..showing off her curvy body..but she did not feel conscious..just walked normally towards the group..she could still feel his eyes following her..”hey..this is sumeet, and they are from bombay too..” introduced Kailash..”this is Sanath, Tanya and Anuradha and..Anaisha..”..all of them smiled at each other and she waited for Sumeet to name them all..”this is Pratosh, Samarth, Neha, Shahzeen and.. Re…” she couldn’t catch his name..the wind blew over and she could just not hear his name..she felt utterly disappointed for that moment..but nonetheless, it was Tanya, who too had missed it and was in no mood to let it go so she asked..”sorry, what is your name..?” to him directly..who smiled..in the most naturally charming way..and answered..”I’m Rehaan..”..Tanya shook hands with him..without missing that chance and did the same with all guys and girls too..Anaisha quietly observed the group..and felt that they were for sure couples, who with who, she could not understand, but somewhere strongly hoped that he..Rehaan..was single..

Rehaan..the name meant, equal to God..was a die hard romantic, he knew he was attractive and often took advantage of that by getting girls drool over him. His mom adored him, his sister doted on him and no doubt his dad felt he was a spoilt brat, but loved him too. He lived his life to the fullest, was good in studies so got into a good college..known more for the lifestyle and glam sham..had a bike and loved riding..lived life in the fast lane..made girlfriends..some of who dumped him..some of them were dumped by him..but nothing stopped him from living it up.riding bikes dangerously..falling in love hopelessly and making passionate love to his girlfriends…he never felt guilty or sad about a relationship once it was over and most easily moved on in life..he was single at that time, had just gotten out of a relationship that was purely for pleasure and was in a need to talk..to a person who would listen and not judge..who would just be there when he felt down and out..who would take a walk on the beaches of goa with him..he did not realize that he wanted all of this till..he saw her..while walking down on the beach from a distance..he saw her jump high in the air..hit the vollyball and fall in sand..saw her hair fall all over her face..her body full of sand and saw her take her T shirt and tie it around her waistline..in a knot..he saw her waistline..kept seeing her legs..and stared at her feet..and as he walked closer..his eyes caught her eyes..she was like any other girl..but what was unusual about her was..her eyes..they expressed all her emotions even before she would speak out..he never observed any woman in that depth.. complemented everyone for the bodies they wore..but noticing her deep dark eyes..with those long lashes..that one moment he gazed..like he knew her..and as they walked closer..he felt he had to stop at that point and converse with the group..just to know her..

Out of all his friends, Pratosh was his closest friend. Samarth and Neha were a couple and Shahzeen was a mutual friend, a fiery parsi girl with little qualms about life..except for the weight she carried..she was round..looked like a plum cake and laughed out the loudest. She and Rehaan were the singles who agreed to accompany Samarth and Neha on their first ever couple trip since their parents would never agree otherwise. Though Shahzeen was plump, wasn’t really the item material who would entice Rehaan, he would love her attention, her talks and her laugh. There was a very soft, sweet person behind this flirtacious young fellow, and everyone loved that about him. Whenever he made friends, he lived it up for them, through thick and thin,he would be there for each one of them and it was his best quality, being unconditional in life.

The new group decided to join the volly and the teams were spilt again, with neha and shahzeen joining the girls gang and the guys splitting up too. It was nearing afternoon and turning sunny, the heat was rising. Anaisha looked for that bottle of chilled water lying near the bags and pulled one out, taking gulps of water down her throat..the chilled water soothed her..and as quenched her thirst..with eyes closed..some drops of water fell off her lips and went flowing on her throat..as she finished..and opened her eyes..she saw him..look at her without a blink..while talking with Sanath..she wiped her mouth..and took her eyes away..turning towards Anu..who had silently observed the guy’s gaze for Anaisha..”why is he staring..”..she whispered in Anaisha’s ears…”did he..at you?” ..Anaisha asked her..”No idiot..not me, at you..I’ve seen him do that ever since hes here..”..”hey its fine..just ignore.”..Anaisha said and took her to Tanya who was in the process of impressing the bengali guy..Pratosh..As they commuicated..Anaisha fought the urge to face him and not show her back to him..like he was longing to look at her..admire her eyes..lips..nose..but again, she just told herself to take it easy..dont give in to strangers..she told herself..

While the game started..their teams were opposites..he stood last..behind all guys..like he wanted no one to watch over him..and their eyes kept meeting..she felt some fire being thrown at her everytime his eyes met hers..and somewhere..just an hour of meeting him..started feeling an intense enjoyment in his attention..her thoughts were held back in those little instances of his gaze..his expressions..and yes, his smile..her heart kept pounding everytime she jumped at the ball..now she knew he was watching her..her waist..her slender belly..and she felt senseous..loved that attention..

He, told sanath he would want the last place..so that he could observe her..and know what was it about her that pulled him so much..he had fallen in love before..had beautiful girlfriends..most of them..more beautiful than she was..but why did he never feel this way for any of them..why was he feeling so differently for her..he felt he had to know..and he looked at her..unaware of his presence..she was busy tying her hair in a knot..he observed her closely..her thin fingers stroking her hair,pulling them into a knot and tucking them..the breeze brining the fringe over her eyes..her eyes..he stopped at them again.but suddenly heard Pratosh scream..”Abey Maar..” and jumped to hit the ball..but it was too late..and he fell on the sand..with all guys coming and blaming him of not paying attention..Tanya and Shahzeen came running and told him to quit..mocking him..and he looked up..looking at her..who stood at her place..nodding her head..smirking..and felt smitten..like he wanted to fall..head over heals..and still keep falling..

And the game went on..and so did the game of eyes..between the two hearts..burning with desires that were unknown..unfelt and unspoken..every little movement created ripples in their hearts..both of them loving the moment..not knowing where they were heading..

His presence kept her heart pounding..like a teenager..she felt weird at times that this was happening with her..she was too strong to get infatuated..no wonder she too had fallen in love..years back..that relationship did not last long..but she could not move on after that..she gave her life to that relationship and when it ended..somewhere she ended up being a much inexpressive person..someone who felt that pain was all unnecessary..and decided to just live by herself..ignoring the obvious attempts of her single bosses too..

Why was he different..the thought occupied her mind as she splashed water on her sweaty face..the playing in the sun had tanned all..and her cheeks had gone pink too..she was aware his eyes followed her..and felt a little conscious for the first time..splashed water again and took off a napkin to wipe while turning around..expecting that he would be there..but she saw none of the boys around and suddenly got panicky..her eyes searched for him everywhere in a fraction of a second..without her knowledge..and suddenly she heard their voices..to see them all resting below a tree..and he..had caught her.. frenziedly searching him..that fear..that urge..was written all over her face..the moment their eyes met..he layed his eyes and locked into hers..like he was holding her close..and she struggled..took her eyes away and turned back instantly..turning red in embarrassment..they decided to have lunch together at the villa after a short break..as both the groups lived nearby, they decided to get fresh and meet again over lunch..Anaisha and anu stood leaning against the wall as they heard the discussions that went on between Sanath, Kailash, Tanya, Shahzeen and Pratosh..Rehaan silently stood there, his hands constantly playing with the shades..eyes fixed on Anaisha again..he did not like the idea of leaving her..though it would just be a matter of fifteen minutes, he did not want to waste that time..he looked at her talking to anu and visualized her talking to himself so intently..and felt an urge to go and be a part of that conversation..but something stopped him..he had been observing her and by now, he knew she wasnt one of those girls who should be disturbed..he knew she was aware of his attention..but wasnt sure if suddenly starting a conversation would spoil the small glances and the little grins that came on her cheeks when she spotted him..

They decided to meet in half an hour and started walking towards their resort..but Rehaan just could not move..he stood there..talking to Tanya, who was all ears and all hearts for him..he couldnt take his eyes off Anaisha..he wanted to see her just out of a shower..with her soft tender skin..her wet hair..the water dripping from her hair to her slender shoulders..the fragrance of her fresh skin..he sighed..something in him was brewing..he felt the eagerness to knew her was getting him impatient now..and saw her look at him..like she was trying to say something..she kept looking and called out for Tanya..her eyes met his again..and he felt there was a lot that she too wanted to know..ask..and say..

Anu,Tanya and Anaisha came back to their room while the guys went into the next room..to get fresh..As Anu and Tanya bathed quickly, Anaisha went in last..she wanted to soak in and relax..went and dipped herself into the tub till neck..her body went into deep relaxation..she leaned and closed her eyes..the whole day went through her eyes..the sand..the sea..the wind..and Rehaan..she kept her eyes closed and observed her heartbeat go faster..she could feel her breath go faster..the look in his eyes when he looked at her..his smile..his talks..his giggles like a baby..she did not realize that everything since morning had just summed up in one thing..meeting Rehaan..Rehaan..she just uttered his name softly..till couple of hours back..she had never ever heard this name..and now..barely some hours later..this name..spelt..she paused..let me simply enjoy this phase..not get emotionally involved..she told herself..and got out of the tub..the steam had left her body pink..she looked at herself in the mirror and looked into her own eyes..what does he see in them..she smiled..everyone was beaming after a great shower..the first touch of goan waters brought a glow on everyone’s faces..

The rooms had huge french windows and a balcony those were covered with white flowers. And being on the ground level, the balconies provided utmost comfort of jumping in and out too. There was a small pool in front of those rooms, that looked absolutely ravishing at night under the moonlight. The owner’s family lived in a separate house in the same compound, which made the villa absolutely private for the in mates.

While Samarth and Neha carried on with their own romantic lunch at their resort..the remaining bunch of singles met up again, this time, deciding on a pool side lunch..Rehaan and Pratosh were alone in their room when Pratosh uttered..”You are making it too obvious Ray..”..that was what Pratosh called Rehaan..Ray..Rehaan..who was standing by the window..almost lost in his thoughts..turned around.. “whats obvious Prats..”..”your interest in her..Anaisha..”..replied Pratosh..”everyone knows it now..I’m sure she does it too..”…and looked into Rehaan’s eyes..He sighed deep…”shes not your types..ab tak ek baar hi tak nahi boli..” Pratosh went on..but Rehaan’s thoughts freezed on her again..”I know Prats..shes not my type..and you know what..that is the main thing..”…he winked at Pratosh and went in to bathe..as he let himself under the warm waters..he kept thinking of all his earlier affairs..and tried to imagine how her life would be..at home..in college..at work..

how big was the difference in their worlds..while he took relationships merely for pleasure..called them tp..time pass..something similar to what peanuts are called..timepass..for him it did not matter if the girl was in love or not..it just mattered to have a girlfriend..thats all..the longest of his affairs..lasted less than a year..and surprisingly..none of this hurt him..none..he proudly stayed friends with one of those too..but when he looked at it from her side..her view..he felt small..she was different..or maybe..old fashioned..she wasn’t a girl who would throw herself at guys..no matter who that person was..her young bosses..vice presidents of her company..found her extremely interesting and attractive..she was witty and had a great sense of humor..and she could easily get along with any person..irrespective of the layers..and this often brought her between the high flyers of the company..she would be called for the meetings along with her own boss..no other manager would ever be called but she would..her bosses were more of friends..but she always knew where the signals came from..and took diversions accordingly..in her life..only thing that mattered to her were..ethics..and it had a simple meaning for her..being truthful..to yourself and to others..

As they all gathered for lunch..Anu and Anaisha waited for Tanya, who had gone to visit the tattoo parlor nearby. Anaisha sat on the compound of their balcony..while anu sat on the chair..both of them.. discussing about what love meant..and what were the relationships all about..Anu was single forever, not someone who would give her heart away so easily..she was caring, loving but was very practical when it came to love. Her parents kept forcing her to get married but she wasnt ready..and Anaisha seconded her thoughts..”marry only when you get a feeling that you want to..otherwise don’t..” she said..”Its not necessary that you find someone now..maybe 5 years later..but you will..” their discussions went on and Tanya arrived..with a tattoo on her right hand that said..”ROCKER”..everyone gathered to see that and as Anaisha was intently looking..she felt he was around..she tried not to look excited and slowly held her head up..to see him there..looking fresh..tanned yet so good..she took her eyes away instantly before he could notice her stares..he was looking relaxed in a pair of shorts and a t shirt..while she was wearing her white T back t shirt with a pair of khadi pajamas..Tanya went ahead to show him the Tattoo and as Anaisha watched him hold her hands and look at her..she felt a deep sense of discomfort..so much so that she just turned away..not wanting to look jealous..felt ashamed of herself that she was going through that..for a complete stranger who was so obviously flirting around..she had spotted him talking to other girls on the beach too..smiling away at foreigners..and for sure she knew …that they were opposites..nothing was a match..right from the backgrounds..he was an ace in finance..belonged to a family of businessmen..whereas she belong to a family of teachers..there was a sea difference between the cultures, the backgrounds..while all these thoughts cluttered her mind..her eyes still went back to him..he was smiling at tanya and giggling in between..she felt a deep sense of happiness looking at him..like she just wanted to keep gazing..at him, his eyes, his smiles..suddenly his eyes caught her again..and she turned..hiding her face behind her hair..in a way that her blushed cheeks couldn’t be seen..her heart kept pounding..she felt thrilled and embarassed at the same time..suddenly she heard his voice..right next to her..”hey..”…her heart stopped..she couldn’t gather the courage to look up at him..its been a day and we are talking now..she felt and slowly moved her head up..to see him talk to Anu..”Anu..right..”..he continued the conversation with Anu..somewhere, in a deliberate attempt to get closer to Anaisha but not as close that she would push him away..he was never like this..always made his moves and with confidence..never wasted time..never thought of consequences and all..but for Anaisha..he wanted to go slow..be careful that none of his actions hurt her..he could not understand why was he doing all of that..just knew that he had to..while talking to Anu..for the first ever time..he stood really close to Anaisha..while she leaning on the wall of the balcony..he spoke with Anu with a shiver..constantly aware of Anaisha right next to him..his full attention was on Anaisha but he spoke with Anu normally..while he spoke to Anu..his  body kept getting pulled..by her presence so close..her open hair..her fiddling fingers..her crossed legs and toe rings..her anklets and the feet..her body was mesmerizing..though she was fully covered..there was a magical sensuousness in her that kept arousing him..he could smell the fragrance she was wearing..he felt an urge to look at her..and keep looking..suddenly sanath called Anaisha and she turned towards him..first time in those minutes, pulling her hair and face up..while she did that..Rehaan just stared..and stared..forgetting that Anu was still there..that anyone or everyone could have observed him look at her that way..and concluded..but none of this crossed his mind..he was seeing her so closely for the first time..and did not want to let go of that moment..he looked at her closely..her eyes..her lips..her forehead..how would it be to hold her close and kiss her forhead..his body shivered..he suddenly realized she turned towards him..and their eyes met again..she saw him..with that feeling written all over in his eyes..his face..and got off the balcony in a hurry..yes sanath..coming yaar..she replied to him while jumping off..he still maintained that eye contact..and followed her as she walked away..not turning even once..All of this while..his imcomplete conversation with Anu..made Anu taka a close look at what was going on..she saw him and she also saw her..she could feel all of this was for sure going somewhere..but did not know where..

While they all had a wholesome poolside lunch..Anaisha’s heart kept slipping out..faster and faster..she kept stealing glances at him while he was unaware..kept seeing the way he ate..he was such a foodie..relishing each bite as it went and eating like world was coming to an end..it was relaxing and the food was great. In the evening..all of them thought of just spending time on the beach, while next day they were all set for adventure sports..paragliding, para-sailing and motor sports..it was evening already as the sun was about to set..the skies put on a beautiful orange veil and the winds started blowing musically..playing with the trees and waters..they all walked up to the nearby local flee market and picked up junk jewelry, hats and colorful bandanas for themselves..Anaisha got a silk sarong for herself..and lovely scarves for her sisters..picked up a sexy shoulderless tube  top..with a tiny denim skirt..she had never worn something of that sort in her life..she liked short dresses..and felt great but never did she make an attempt to look hot or sexy…while she looked at that dress..she felt she wanted to look that way..and picked it up..Tanya and Anu were silent..are you really going to wear it..Anu asked her..unbelievably..while Tanya was super excited..go babe..really wanna see you in this..really..aaj raat ko we have a bonfire na, wear it then ok..you’ll look smashing..While Anaisha heard both of them..she wasn’t sure why was she doing it..something I’ve never done..never dressed so provocatively..yeah shorts and tops were great..so were the short dresses..but this pair..was something different..she tried it on and looked great..anu and tanya both urged her to buy it..and she did..

The boys gang went around looking at the hot women shop around..pratosh kept poking Rehaan to see the women in skimpy clothes,some were really hot and the best part was that they kept smiling too..while Pratosh kept picking the best and trying to strike a conversation, like they would do every time they were in Goa, make some firang friends and have some fun..it was harmless fun and they loved it, like those firang babes. But he felt Rehaan’s interest fading this time, he seemed to be in a hurry..and mostly looking at women’s jewelry..while pratosh looked at the women and struck conversations, Rehaan set his eyes on this beaded neckpiece…that had some blue feathers too..he took it in his hands and in a flash of a second his thoughts went back to her..he visualized himself putting that neckpiece around her slender neck..and the way it would make her look enchanting..he decided to buy it..not knowing if he would ever be able to do what he felt..but he wanted to buy it..for her..something in him told him that it was meant for her..and he bought it..Pratosh was going berserk..he finally sat Rehaan down and put a question mark on his face..”what the hell is going on Ray..I know that you are lost somewhere, you’re thinking something..and I’m almost sure I know what that something or to be precise..someone is..but if you could do me a favor by just speaking..” Rehaan sighed deeply..”I dont know Prats..just dont know.. ever felt like this before..I know she isn’t my type..but can’t stop thinking about her yaar..”…he helplessly confessed..looking at the neckpiece in his hands..” you and maya..just broke off Ray..a week ago..” Pratosh was unable to understand..” its just loneliness that you want to deal with..then just lets get flirting yaar..why get serious..look around..this is Goa meri jaan..”..he tried pepping up Rehaan..but Rehaan’s eyes were set on the necklace..his hands playing with the soft little feathers..his thoughts drifted away to how it would feel on her soft skin..her neck..her shoulders..when he would put it around her..she will feel tickled..will shivers..get jitters with these feathers brushing on her skin..”Are you even listening Ray..”Pratosh inturrupted..”whats so great about her yaar..shes so quiet..keeps to herself and her friends..and most importantly..never seen her talk to you even once till now..why waste your time Ray..just move on na..” Rehaan paused..Pratosh was right somewhere..why am I getting serious..Rehaan asked himself..let me just have fun..he got up and told Pratosh..chal..lets have fun…

They went around chasing these two young french girls who looked obviously interested and gave them all the right signals..Pratosh pushed Rehaan to strike a conversation and Rehaan being a charmer..went and spoke with both of them..most confidently..and charmed them too..they were standing together laughing while Rehaan saw Tanya and Anaisha  coming..he stood there silently..and waited to see Anaisha’s reaction when she would see him with those pretty girls..Anaisha was wearing a light pink kaftaan with a smart pair of pink hot shots..tied her hair in a braid..and was wearing these earings which were feathers..her legs stood out even though she wasn’t wearing heels..Rehaan kept looking through the corner of his eyes and saw her look at him..he decided to stop moving eyes away and stared at her..to see her expressions..

she looked at him..and pratosh..and saw them talking to these really pretty young girls..and said to herself..this is the way life is..guys are..why wasn’t I expecting this..so foolish of me..and took her eyes away..but something stopped her and she looked back at Rehaan..who wasn’t taking his eyes away..she kept looking as he looked too..and something told her..he is not a part of that conversation..she felt..he is there..just maybe because he wants me to feel jealous..and smiled at herself..taking her eyes off him..

Tanya kept teasing Rehaan with one of those french girls..Rehaan would just laugh and look at Anaisha for a reaction. She went into her room and while combing her hair, smiled at herself..hes such a baby..she smiled again..wants to make me jealous..so cute..Anu came in and told her that he looked so obviously interested in her..and asked her what she felt about it..Anaisha was quiet..she searched her heart for words..words that said no,nah,never. She looked at Anu and smiled..Lets go Anu..she said and started walking towards the door..”You both are falling in love Anaisha..”..Anu declared..Anaisha freezed..”Its been a day Anu..a day..you think anyone can fall in love in a day…” Anaisha sounded like she wanted a reaffirmation..like she wanted Anu to convince her..Anu pulled her and made her sit..Anaisha..I don’t know if anyone can fall..but I can see you and him..don’t you..you guys are just so much in love..”…Anaisha shivered..I love him..she heard herself say that in her mind and shivered..Anaisha felt helpless..she told Anu..”I really don’t know Anu..and for him..how can I say..haven’t even spoken once till now..just been a day nah..”…Anu interrupted..”See his eyes..they speak his heart..the way he looks at you Anaisha..he seems to be going crazy for sure..”…every word that Anu spoke..brought ripples in Anaisha’s heart…she felt overwhelmed with that emotion..and had an urge to just give in and tell Anu that yes, she was hopelessly falling in love with him..with his eyes..but she stopped herself..like always..and told Anu..lets not conclude Anu..I dont want to be hurt..she said..Anu kept looking at her and walked slowly towards the balcony..she saw Rehaan and Shahzeen sitting right opposit their balcony..and talking..as Anu entered..Rehaan looked up like he waited to see someone in there..looking at Anu..he felt a little embarassed and to hide that, he waived and said hi..she said it too..and observed them talk..they were for sure talking about the same thing..Anu could understand..Rehaan seems  to be confiding in Shahzeen..she called Anaisha..hey..just come out and see the color of the sky..its so gorgeous..Anaisha..who still sat in front of the mirror..lost in thoughts..turned and walked into the balcony..to see him..sitting right outside..and he looked at her..like he had waited for her all his life..like he wanted her and no one else around..no one else ever mattered..she stood their..trying to look at the sky and not at him..while Shahzeen too..obseved her cheeks go pink..and hit Rehaan with her elbow and wishpered..”Shes in love too Rehaan..I’m so sure..”….He tried to control the happiness spill all over his face..as Anaisha was right there..but he hardly could..

It was getting breezy..and the beauty of a beachy night was on..everyone felt charged up..they had planned of a bonfire right on the beach..just outside the villa..everyone got dressed after a nice shower..the guys came out first..easy dressers..Rehaan picked up his sky blue shirt with a white pair of shorts..gelled his hair and sprayed his favorite cologne..everything he did..he unconsciously did it keeping her in mind..he kept the top two buttons of his shirt open..that showed off his bare chest..he had a well toned body..and without an effort, he looked stunningly attractive..the guys kept roaming around the beach talking about the next day activities..but Rehaan..even though he was a part of the conversation..could not stop his mind from waiting for her..It seemed to him that she made him wait forever..Pratosh spotted the two french girls and pulled Rehaan..one of them was smitten by him..stood really close to him while talking..the beach was getting dark..the waves were getting silent..and with barely anyone around..was the best time for Rehaan to enjoy with this french girl..Diane..she put her hands around his neck and stood really close..he tried to observe her while they spoke..she was fair..slim..and good looking..had light eyes..and a great body too..but as he looked at her and spoke..with his hands around her waist..he still found himself thinking of Anaisha..
He kept comparing diane’s light eyes..with anaisha’s dark,deep eyes..her long lashes..his mind kept going back to her..while diane was getting closer and closer..he felt suffocated for a moment..just closed his eyes and before he knew..he was kissing diane..he felt a sense of shock as he felt her lips and moved away..he looked at her and within a second..to his shock..he heard himself say..”sorry..”..and just walked out..he went in the waters and with hands in his pockets..he stared at the sea..what he just did..shook his mind..but it looked effortlessly easy..and there wasnt a feeling of regret in him..it was just a feeling of shock..he wasnt ever like that..where am I heading..whats going on rehaan..he asked himself..why has she taken over you..he breathed heavy and closed his eyes again..anaisha’s tender face appeared before him..i wasnt kissing diane..i was kissing you..anaish..he softly utttered..and I want to kiss you..i love you..anaisha..anaish..he said with shivering lips..imagining her right there..her deep eyes locked into his..her shivering body..

He walked out of those waters in an urge to see her..tonite..im going to say it..he said to himself..what if she says no..it struck him..he had spoken to kailash in general abt all of them..in an attempt to obtain information abt her..and he did mention that she was single..she wont say no..rehaan felt strongly..

As he neared the villa..he was dying to see her..he saw tanya,pratosh,shahzeen,sanath snd kailash..dancing around the bonfire..it looked so inviting..the orange hues of the fire..with the red sparks…made the atmosphere absolutely mesmerizing..as he came nearer..he saw her..sitting rite there..and his heart skipped a beat as he saw her..she was wearing the gorgeous tube top..with the short denim skirt..pulled out of her crossed legs..leaning on a coconut tree at the corner and was playing the guitar..her hands on those strings..looked absolutely sexy and she had tied her hair..but winds blew them and it was messy..and she looked the best that way..her dark eyes were dipped music..he silently stood there..she was completely unaware of his presence..he was dying to hear her voice…and she played this enchanting tune of yeh dooriyaan..and sang it along..it was one of her all time fav songs..as she sang..with closed eyes..he looked at her without a blink..and felt like capturing that moment in his heart..forever..he kept getting a feeling like he was melting somewhere..that bonfire..and her presence there..set his heart on fire..he heard her sing..her voice was husky..
As she sang..her breath went deeper..with closed eyes..she visualised rehaan..and sang deeply..the tune got goosebumps on her body..as she felt him..look at her with those magnetizing eyes..she opened her eyes slowly and saw him sit right opposite to her..his eyes..his body..she felt an irresistable urge to be close to him..hug him..feel his body..he wasnt lookin at her..he was lookin at the fire..lost in some thoughts..suddenly all started clapping for anaisha as the song ended..she smiled..her eyes met his again and after all this while..he gazed..just did not look away..he locked her eyes and she struggled..looked away and in a minute..looked back to check if he was still looking..he caught her stealing glances and gave her an unfazed straight look..that said..that he has caught her..and that theres no running away now..she better surrender …she took her eyes away again..his stare was so strong that it created waves in her heart..stronger than the sea..she wishpered in anu’s ears and got up with anu..he kept seein her..everything looked absolutely ravishing..sanath played some great numbers..and all of them got up to dance..tanya pulled Rehaan and stared dancing..while all of them danced..his eyes kept looking at anaisha..she and anu joined the gang and for the first time in all of these days..he saw her so closely..laughing aloud..and dancing..she closed her eyes while dancing and danced like a little girl..unaware of anyone around..it was obvious that she loved dancing..wasn’t conscious of anyone..just grooved to the music..he couldn’t stop looking at her..just loved the fact that they were dancing..together..on the same song..he did not try going closer to her at all..just did not want to break that mood she was in..she seemed reclusive all that while..though he did hear her sing and hum, but had no clue her body too was so musical..

As the music began..she and anu jumped in to dance..not a single moment it crossed Anaisha’s mind that he was there and she could be judged..she just loved the song that was being played and loved that atmosphere..most of all..she wanted to break free..felt like just dancing till she would drop and went ahead..she always closed her eyes while dancing..while some found it dumb..some found it extremely cute..she never bothered..she opened her hair..and danced with a smile on her face..she looked at him dance with Tanya..he was so gracious..she felt..and somewhere..just so irresistible when he danced..their eyes kept meeting on and off and kept creating ripples in their hearts..the music went on for a while and all of them..just danced and danced..

Everyone was drinking..giving into the freedom of Goa..anu too..had a beer..like she always did while in Goa..Tanya too was high..the boys had beers and everyone..visibly high..kept laughing at nothing and dancing even when there was no music..they all sat down..munching food and drinking..sitting around the bonfire..and Anaisha looked at all of them..with a bottle around..she was sure Rehaan too would drink..suited his personality..she felt..but to her surprise..when she looked at his side..there wasn’t any drink..and he looked totally normal..it came as a complete surprise to her that out of all..it was just she and rehaan..who did not drink..she silently felt..there was a reason they were meant to stay awake..and smiled..

As the night went on..the songs went on too..Anaisha kept playing the guitar for everyone as all of them sang..one by one and sometimes as a group..she was being told by everyone to keep sining..Rehaan rested on the wall and kept enjoying her presence..she was enchanting..like seeing candle lights at night..like seeing fireworks in the sky..like a fresh stream of water..absolutely enchanting and mesmerizing..he observed her so closely as she sang..he could see her eyes get immersed in the songs..the words she hummed made so much more sense now..some songs..he had always heard..but never did he bother to understand them..they all unfolded and made it so obvious to him..everyone gave into singing gradually..some happy songs and as everyone got on a high..sad songs too..Anaisha was aware that he looked at her..she was glad that he wasnt drunk..cuz that meant all that he did..or would do..was in complete awareness..and somewhere..she felt..she needed that..

The bonfire went silent and it was past midnight..everyone started feeling chilled as the winds were cold..they decided to disperse quietly..Rehaan was feeling the urge to just keep sitting there and watch her..he insisted that everyone should wait back more..but the beer was doing its bit on everyone..Anaisha too..wanted to sit there..not go away from him..he was sitting opposite to her all this while..watching her play..sing..and she felt like that veil of discomfort..of not knowing him much..was all gone..suddenly..without any words..she felt she was much closer to him..that she knew him..

Everyone dragged their feet to the villas..anu too..felt sleepy..so all of them..wrapped up and started walking..Rehaan still..stood there..like he waited..but she couldn’t..she looked at him as she went in with Anu..
He saw her go..and sat back..looking at the little fire that was left in the bonfire..something told him she will be back..back..just for him..he looked at the watch..it was nearing three in the morning..the skies looked like washed and cleansed..it was full moon and the light was sensuously falling on the sea..he kept staring at the fire go dimmer..lost in his thoughts..his mind kept going back to her..her eyes..her voice..her laugh..her dance..her guitar..her legs..her hair..damn I love her..he felt a deep sigh..

In a moment..he saw her..while he was lost in his thoughts..the bonfire went silent and it was completely dark..he saw her walk from the gates..not aware that he was there..she walked slowly..went inside the sea..dipped till her feet..and kept gazing..

she could feel her heart going mad for him..she felt go weak in her knees for him..and more than anything at this moment..she wanted to surrender..to all of that beauty..the waters..the wind..the moonlight..the bonfire..and..to him..they had not spoken a word till now..but she was sure it was love..she took that break from the crowd not to break away from him..but to connect to him..to listen to her heart..and to gather courage to face him..and express herself..gradually..

..as she stood there..immersed in her thoughts..she suddenly felt a presence around her..she turned to bang into him..Rehaan..he was right there..she shivered at that closeness and took a step backwards to move back..and suddenly felt his hands on her waist..pull her closer..she went breathless..he kept a straight stare in her eyes as he pulled her..like he was saying he wouldn’t let her go..ever..she stood there..frozen..her heart kept beating so fast that she feared he might be able to hear it..she took her eyes away and looked down..not knowing what to say at that moment..both of them..were still..silent..not a word was needed to express the most celebrated emotion in the world..love..

Rehaan..stood in front of her..gazing at her..feeling her trembling helplessly..he had walked after her..not knowing what to say or do..just followed her like he was hypnotized..he waited to see where she was going..and saw her going towards the beach..in the waters..and stand there..something told him this was his moment..that she was thinking about him and maybe..expecting him too..and he walked silently towards her..for the first ever time in his life..his hands trembled..his heart pounded..and he felt like he was blank..but he still wanted to go..as he went closer..he saw her clearer in that moonlight..and she looked mesmerizing..lost in her thoughts..wearing that shoulderless tube top that accentuated her slender shoulders and neck..her bare hands with absolutely nothing on the..she put her hands in the pockets of her skirt..he looked at her legs..her feet playing with the waters..more than anything else..what looked most beautiful for him..were her eyelashes..even from the side..from a distance..he could see her eyes move up and down..towards the sky and back at the sea..like she was throwing questions..and trying to decide something..

He couldn’t wait any longer..just walked towards her..and as he went closer..her body kept pulling him to be even closer..her hair..tied up..the fragrance she wore..everything kept pulling him and that current was so strong that he hardly knew when he reached so close to her..to see her turn and almost bang into him..but when that happened..everything stopped..the waves were not in the sea anymore..they rose up in his heart..that was the moment he felt he had waited for..all his life..he looked at her..into her eyes..and she uncomfortably moved them down..giving him a clear answer that yes, it was him she was thinking about..as she stumbled to move back..he pulled her closer..holding her tightly..she looked down..not able to react or sustain that moment..

That silent moment seemed to go on forever..she stood there..frozen..and he..so close to her..yet unspoken..and finally..he felt her move..closer to him..her head touched his chest..still looking down..and he felt her deep sigh..she rested her head on his chest..like she had surrendered..his hands were around her waist..he took them towards her shoulders and wrapped her in his arms..he trembled as she came closer..her body was shivering..and his too..he couldn’t wait to tell her how madly he was in love with her..and that nothing in this world mattered to him except for her anymore..he looked at her..and slowly held her head up..she kept her eyes closed and opened them slowly..looked into his eyes and moved her eyes away..her breath went faster..as he came closer..looked into her eyes..moved the fringe out from her face delicately..putting it behind her ears..as he touched..ripples were hitting her heart..she gathered the courage and looked at him..his eyes..looked so magical in the moonlight..she saw him so close and longed to be closer..waited for him to speak..speak what she was dying to hear..as he put her fringe behind..he moved closer to her face..looked into her eyes..and with shivering lips..he confessed..I love you..Anaisha..she closed her eyes as she heard those words..felt nothing but a need to give up..give up all that she held back..all those inhibitions..fears..she felt she gave up all of it at that moment..while she kept her eyes closed..he pulled her and hugged her..it was a deep..strong hug..a hug that only lovers know..a hug that cut all boundaries of the body and went deeper than the heart..went soul to soul..